Dear Syracuse,

I graduated, so what? This is STILL a classy letter blog to read when you're waiting in line outside of Chuck's or cutting through Life Sciences..if you have service. It's everything and anything Syracuse.


Fondly,
An Orangewoman

S**t That Has Happened at SU (Since/Because the Class of 2014 Graduated)

Dear Syracuse University, 

It’s a few weeks into the new school year and a lot of s**t is happening. These new, good, bad, “eh” and “wtf” events are happening all over campus. Let’s review what’s happened at SU since the unbelievably smart and goodlooking class of 2k14 graduated: 

1. Syracuse University ranked as the #1 Party School.

2. A female soccer player took a time machine to Alabama during the Civil Rights movement, learned the jargon of a local racist, and then traveled back to 2014 to share that language on a phone video.

 3. Castle Court is no longer a royal parking lot. Where do you expect me to stand and sway now? There’s nowhere else to stand and sway! Am I supposed to recycle my empty water bottles instead of throw them on the ground? THIS IS PRISON.

4. A group of kids came out with the video known as #SaveCuse. Again, where else can we all “be together” if it’s not in an empty parking lot? Don’t waste a perfectly good drone to film an embarrassing video like this one…don’t you have a Frisbee to throw on the quad this time of year? Some apples to pick? 

5. Cosmos on Marshall Street closed. The rats win again!

6. Our football team got a W? Well… alright, alright. 

7. Another Juice Jam video happened. Because another Juice Jam happened.

8.  You can buy tickets to see Oprah on our campus.

9. The Daily Orange is now a reliable news source for ALUMNI like ME who seek UPDATES from his/her ALMA MATER.

10. Is the song “Kanye” by the Chainsmokers popular at school yet? Back when I was in school, those Chainsmokers had their smash hit, “Selfie.” I might still have a CD of that…

 Keep up the good work ‘Cuse. Watch out for those rats though.

Fondly,

An Orangewoman  

Dear Syracuse University, 
Our recent ranking as #1 party school in the United States is not because of daily visits to Chuck’s when you “happen to be passing through that back alley.” The ranking has nothing to do with Mayfest or Juice Jam. It has nothing to do with our student body’s dependency on the bottle during those harsh winter nights. Syracuse University is the #1 party school because of this guy. Chancellor Kent. 
He throws down (diplomas), makes knock-your-socks-off G rated jokes during events, sends us his diary entries WEEKLY YO and makes sure every one is having a good time. At all times. He turns up for school policies and administration logistics. He turns up for Orange.
Thanks Kent. Finally, something IMPORTANT at our school is #1. 
Fondly, 
An Orangewoman 

Dear Syracuse University, 

Our recent ranking as #1 party school in the United States is not because of daily visits to Chuck’s when you “happen to be passing through that back alley.” The ranking has nothing to do with Mayfest or Juice Jam. It has nothing to do with our student body’s dependency on the bottle during those harsh winter nights. Syracuse University is the #1 party school because of this guy. Chancellor Kent. 

He throws down (diplomas), makes knock-your-socks-off G rated jokes during events, sends us his diary entries WEEKLY YO and makes sure every one is having a good time. At all times. He turns up for school policies and administration logistics. He turns up for Orange.

Thanks Kent. Finally, something IMPORTANT at our school is #1. 

Fondly, 

An Orangewoman 

Tock

Dear Orange People, 

This is my only valid excuse as to why I haven’t written a post in a while. It has nothing to do with being sad about graduation, handling real life, figuring out who I want to be when I grow up and moving away from home. It’s all about this project. Click on Tock. I promise it’s cool. 

Fondly, 

An Orangewoman 

Dear Oprah, 

Syracuse University can’t wait to see your reaction over the Newhouse Studios this fall. 

Fondly, 

An Orangewoman

44 Lessons Learned at Syracuse University

Dear Syracuse University, 

Yes, it’s me. An Orangewoman. I will always and forever be one so don’t try to get rid of me so fast. You’ve been trying to get rid of me for four years now. Four years of clobbering me with snow, changing chancellors, avoiding Bird Library, making funny videos, making dumb videos, surviving Juice Jams and Mayfests, sweating in dorms, and finally making it into Chucks. Well, I did it. We all did it. 

This is not the conclusion of this blog because there’s way too much to say. I will wrap up this four year course with a handful of key lesson takeaways: 

1. When in doubt, major in the iSchool. 

2. University Union makes more money than I ever will. 

3. Yogurtland is the best thing to happen to Marshall Street because it isn’t between two slices of bread. 

4. Cafe Kubal is better and you know it. 

5. The architectural dimensions of Faegans are about the same as three fat canoes stuck together. 

6. A photo of Crouse at sunset will get more “likes” than a photo of your first born child. 

7. If you have 7 hours and 18 beers to kill, hit up a SU Football game. 

8. Neverland is where the cars in the Castle parking lot go. 

9. Bird Library is the anti-Adderal. 

10. It’s harder to find a humble person in Newhouse than it is to find Lyman Hall. 

11. Lanyards, SUID’s, Syracuse apparel… freshmen, we wish we were you again. Do your thing. 

12. Whitman will become a Greek letter fraternity in the upcoming year. 

13. Funk N’ Waffles has the best breakfast sandwiches on Marshall Street. 

14. Varsity has shadily good breakfast sandwiches on Marshall Street. 

15. You can rent out books from Bird Library. 

16. In 100 years, someone will find Kent Syverud’s diary and make it into a famous book, play, and movie called the Diary of Chancellor Kent

17. Castle is better when the “sun’s out” because at night, the city of Syracuse is “guns out.” 

18. Fire alarms are as common as high fives in Dellplain Hall. 

19. I should’ve talked to that kid on the unicycle. 

20. We all could’ve done a better job at letting Fab Melo cheat off of our tests. It’s our faults. 

21. When Nelly Furtado, the Dailai Lama, Dave Matthews and Cyndi Lauper come to your school, just know that it is NOT going to be that kind of concert. 

22. Crows are usually signs of bad things to come in fables and fairy tales. The same goes for Crow at Syracuse. 

23. An electric gatorade from Harry’s actually takes electrolites out of your body forever. 

24. Nothing says “atmosphere” like four outside tables at Faegan’s for lunch. Caprese panini anyone? Sweet potato fries? 

25. J.Michael’s mocks us as we walk by with only enough money for a medium sized amount of fro yo. 

26. Hoople Hall. Who knew? 

27. Should’ve been Bandier. They make going to concerts a 9-5 job. 

28. If you don’t have a sassy gay friend to give you advice, then just read Jerk Magazine out loud to yourself. 

29. The only way to justify having a broken back while camping outside the Dome is, “Well, it’s an experience!”

30. Syracuse University might not be located near a beach, but that’s why we have SAE. 

31. Calvin Harris, you peaked at our Juice Jam. 

32. 8 AM classes, Shma8 AM schmaclasses. 

33. Good luck getting to your Friday recitation at 9:30AM. 

34. And God said, “Let there be sun on a day before May 1st.” 

35. Marshall Square Mall Fitness Center, a Gym for Real Women. 

36. Syrajuice, you are missed everyday. Class of ‘13. 

37. Bleu Monkey…because we didn’t know better. 

38. The Final Four is our first place trophy. 

39. We can all aspire to have salad bars like Ernie Davis Dining Hall in our future kitchens. 

40. Get involved on campus before you join Citrus TV. 

41. Food.com isn’t a website. Oh wait, it is. 

42. Never stop meeting people or saying, “Hey pretty girl!.” It’s bound to work out eventually. 

43. Run the Euclid stairs to prove you’re a human. 

44. Embrace Syracuse as a home. A weird, grey, average, fun, life-changing home. It’ll always be there for you. 

Fondly, 

An Orangewoman

Yik Yak is our CNN

Dear Yik Yak

You may or may not have realized it by now, but you are Syracuse University’s #1 news source. In just a matter of weeks, you have blown The Daily Orange and Jerk Magazine out of the water. I mean, being sassier than Jerk Magazine really says something! Students are constantly looking for the latest yik or yak to quench their information thirst around campus.

Forget the presidential election in India. Tell me more about ZBT wearing capris!

Forget about the Clippers owner being a huge racist. Tell me more about Chancellor Kent “not feeling” Mayfest!

Forget about those tornadoes in the Midwest. I want to know about the international student who fell asleep in the basement of Bird! I CAN’T GET ENOUGH. 

Yik Yak, you yik me. Keep the news coming. It’s definitely not hurting anyone’s feelings because IT’S FACT. 

Fondly,

An Orangewoman 

Jerami Grant called me for a little chat. 

Fondly, 

An Orangewoman 

Hope to see you there! 
Fondly, 
An Orangewoman 

Hope to see you there! 

Fondly, 

An Orangewoman 

And you thought only our basketball and lacrosse teams had extreme athleticism…..think again. 
Fondly, An Orangewoman 

And you thought only our basketball and lacrosse teams had extreme athleticism…..think again. 

Fondly, 
An Orangewoman 

Dear Formal Dates, 

It’s that time of year again. Your Friday’s and Saturday’s are filled with another sorority formal event. It’s an evening of cocktails, free dinner, and maybe even an early cab ride home because you just couldn’t “do” the bus.  

The most important part of any male formal date’s experience is not the relationship formed with his date or the calories burned on the dancefloor. It’s all about the formal giveaways aka the sorority formal t-shirt. 

This is when every girl faces a huge issue…. is he a medium or a large?

Some of us are fortunate enough to have a tiny date who undoubtedly gets the small. A few of us might even have a massive linebacker as a date who definitely gets the XL. 

But this middle ground- this medium or large purgatory- is inciting unecessary fights and passive aggressive tensions between a girl and her date. A medium could mean your date wants to look huge (in a good way) when he wears it with his salmon shorts. A medium could also mean your date is a girl. A large could make your date look like he is wearing a flag. Or a large could make sense. 

Whether or not you get the formal giveaway size right, it won’t ruin your night. Just your entire life. 

Fondly, 

An Orangewoman 

This blog turns 3 years old today! Here’s to many more innapropriate jokes, videos and lists making fun of Syracuse University….thanks for tuning in. 
Fondly, 
An Orangewoman 

This blog turns 3 years old today! Here’s to many more innapropriate jokes, videos and lists making fun of Syracuse University….thanks for tuning in. 

Fondly, 

An Orangewoman 

(Source: assets)

Eight Syracuse University Reactions to This Photo: 
1. And you are…?
2. Are those peg legs? 
3. Cool confetti. Add “purchase EDC tickets” to my to-do list. 
4. WHATEVER. 
5. Is Chucks open? 
6. Can you honestly imagine how this campus would react if we won? It’s probably better we didn’t. 
7. It’s better to be humble #13. 
8. Boeheim. 

Fondly, 
An Orangewoman 

Eight Syracuse University Reactions to This Photo: 

1. And you are…?

2. Are those peg legs? 

3. Cool confetti. Add “purchase EDC tickets” to my to-do list. 

4. WHATEVER. 

5. Is Chucks open? 

6. Can you honestly imagine how this campus would react if we won? It’s probably better we didn’t. 

7. It’s better to be humble #13. 

8. Boeheim. 

Fondly, 

An Orangewoman 

Dear Syracuse University Commencement Speaker, 
You could be David Remnick, the editor-in-chief of the New Yorker, or Ryan Lewis, Macklemore’s partner in crime. By just looking at a picture of you, I’m really not sure who you could be. 
I don’t think you should be concerned that not many students know who you are. There are at least a dozen magazine and journalism majors who peed themselves upon hearing the news that you are our commencement speaker. Their cracking screeches must mean that you are a huge deal and more importantly- you could employ them. No pressure. 
I think you’ll have some great things to say on graduation weekend. You should print your speech inside a magazine as one last attempt to make print journalism a thing again!
Fondly, 
An Orangewoman 

Dear Syracuse University Commencement Speaker, 

You could be David Remnick, the editor-in-chief of the New Yorker, or Ryan Lewis, Macklemore’s partner in crime. By just looking at a picture of you, I’m really not sure who you could be. 

I don’t think you should be concerned that not many students know who you are. There are at least a dozen magazine and journalism majors who peed themselves upon hearing the news that you are our commencement speaker. Their cracking screeches must mean that you are a huge deal and more importantly- you could employ them. No pressure. 

I think you’ll have some great things to say on graduation weekend. You should print your speech inside a magazine as one last attempt to make print journalism a thing again!

Fondly, 

An Orangewoman 

He gets it. 
Fondly, 
An Orangewoman 

He gets it. 

Fondly, 

An Orangewoman