Dear Syracuse University’s Male Population,
As fun as it is looking at the top of your heads and checking out your snapbacks from an aerial view, I would love it even more if you were taller than me so my view could change. It’s not that girls don’t like short guys, we just enjoy tall Orangemen even more. You don’t have to sacrifice your K-Swiss sneakers or your Sperry’s at all! The solution is a quick visit to Tallmenshoes.com, an online company that provides 2-5 inch inserts for your everyday shoes. Just imagine all the new things you’ll get to experience at a higher altitude: on-the-same-level eye contact, less awkward dancing, and tons of girls looking at you and saying, “FINALLY.”
The only way to go is up.